21

Sudah hampir 2 tahun gak nge-blog dan gak kerasa udah bukan teenager lagi, umur sudah menginjak 21 tahun. 21 tahun bener-bener udah gak muda lagi. banyak banget pencapaian yang ingin diraih di tahun ini dan tahun-tahun ke depannya. Gak kerasa sekarang gue udah jadi Mahasiswi Semester 6 Teknik Pertambangan ITB, which is tinggal 1 tahun lagi untuk nyelesain S1 gue dan Insyaallah bakal lanjut fast-track, yaitu bisa dapet gelar sekaligus S2 dalam waktu 5 tahun kuliah. Kebanyakan temen-temen berniat langsung kerja pas lulus S1, karena emang alumni dari jurusan gue ini Alhamdulillah nya berprospek bagus ke depannya. Amin! Anyway, alesan gue untuk lanjut S2 ini awalnya cuma mau menuhin keinginan papa mama biar someday kalo udah nikah gausah kerja panas-panasan di site tambang di belahan hutan di Indonesia ataupun luar negeri (amin), papa mau gue jadi dosen nantinya. Belum merasa yakin sih dengan pilihan jadi dosen suatu hari nanti, cuma ya paling nggak udah punya bekal lah biar otak gak kosong-kosong banget nanti. Berarti, masih ada 4 semester lagi yang harus gue selesain untuk bisa dappet gelar S1 dan S2 :) Umur 21 tahun bukan hanya menuntut gue untuk mikirin masa depan, tapi juga dalam bersikap. Kayaknya di umur segini udah gak pantes lagi galau-galau mikirin sesuatu yang emang gak seharusnya menyita banyak pikiran. Dalam ngambil setiap keputusan, gue udah harus dituntut untuk lebih matang dan mikirin segala sesuatunya bener-bener. Sifat-sifat jelek kayak emosi berlebih, egois, dan banyak maunya udah mulai harus dikurang-kurangin banget. Kehidupan sehari-hari ya belum banyak yang berubah sih. Kuliah, aktivitas di himpunan jurusan, ngegosip bareng cewe-cewe di kampus, kulineran kemana-mana tapi jarang olahraga sampe jadi gendut, nonton film, dan sibuk nyari waktu buat pulang ke rumah. Semester ini gue sangat kesulitan nyari waktu buat balik ke rumah gue sendiri, even itu cuma di Bekasi yang jaraknya gak kurang dari 120 km dari Bandung. Jadwal kuliah yang ngaco, dosen minta make up class yang jadwalnya ngaco, jadwal praktikum yang lebih ngaco, dan laporan-laporan serta tugas besar mata kuliah yang paling ngaco. Kuliah dan praktikum bisa sampe hari Minggu sekalipun. Kuliah dari pagi sampe sore di hari Sabtu bahkan udah jadi hal lumrah di semester ini. 10 mata kuliah yang gue ambil dan 5 praktikum serta laporannya yang kadang gak tau diri emang nyiksa waktu banget sih terkadang. Ngeluh udah jadi hal yang wajar banget di semester ini, ya walaupun gak boleh juga, tapi entah kenapa ngerasanya semester ini cape banget. Jarang pulang ke Bekasi, selain jarang ketemu keluarga juga jadi jarang ketemu Norman, pacar sendiri. Dia sibuk sama kuliahnya dan begitupun gue mewajibkan kita untuk pinter-pinter ngatur waktu buat ketemu. Seringnya sih masalah ada pada gue yang gabisa balik ke Bekasi because of this whole academic things. Di kampus gue atau lebih tepatnya jurusan gue sih, di akhir semester 6 itu setiap mahasiswa diwajibkan untuk Kerja Praktek (KP) di salah satu perusahaan atau kontrakor tambang yang ada di Indonesia. Niatnya bulan Juni-Agustus nanti gue akan KP di perusahaan batubara yang cukup besar di Indonesia, yang berlokasi di Senakin, Kalimantan Selatan. 1 month to go to face the real mining life there. Kinda excited, semoga disana KP nya menyenangkan dan dapet pengalaman dan pelajaran banyak buat diimplementasikan di kuliah. 2 bulan di lingkungan tambang yang (katanya) monoton semoga bisa betah dan gak seserem apa yang udah diceritain sama kakak-kakak kelas sih hehe.

Pokoknya target di umur 21 ini adalah IP dan IPK naik terus, KP lancar, kuliah lancar, kehidupan di keluarga dan lain-lain juga lancar terus.

everlasting love song ever!

i loooooove this song so bad. wondering my husband someday sings this song for me in our wedding uuuuu :3

K-Ci and Jojo - All My Life

I Will Never Find Another Lover
Sweeter Than You
Sweeter Than You
And I Will Never Find Another Lover
More Precious Than You
More Precious Than You
Girl You Are..
Close To Me You're Like My Mother,
Close To Me You're Like My Father,
Close To Me You're Like My Sister,
Close To Me You're Like My Brother
And You Are The Only One My Everything
And For You This Song I Sing....

All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God
That I..That I Finally Found You
All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Hope That You Feel The Same Way Too
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

I'd Send You All That I'm Thinking Of........Baby

Said I Promise To Never Fall In Love With A Stranger
You're All I'm Thinking Of
I Praise The Lord Above
For Sending Me Your Love
I Cherish Every Hug
I Really Love You

All My Life (Ohhhh..Baby, Baby)
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God
That I...That I Finally Found You
All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Hope That You Feel The Same Way Too
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

You're All That I Ever Know,
When You Smile All My Face Always Seems To Glow,
You Turned My Life Around,
You Picked Me Up When I Was Down,
You're All That I've Ever Known,
When You Smile My Face Glows
You Picked Me Up When I Was Down
Say...You're All That I've Ever Known
When You Smile My Face Glows
You Picked Me Up When I Was Down
And I Hope That You
Feel The Same Way Too
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

And All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God
That I..That I Finally Found You
All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God
That I ..That I Finally Found You
All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

(Fading)
And All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God That I...That I Finally Found You.....

majoring

dulu kalo ditanya orang "jurusan apa di ITB?" Gue cuma bisa jawab "ehem,ITB kalo tahun pertama masih fakultas,gue FTTM (fakultas teknik pertambangan perminyakan,bagi yang gatau)"
and noooow,kalo ditanya "jurusannya apa di ITB?" gue udah bisa jawab "TEKNIK PERTAMBANGAN".
yay yay I'm mining engineer to be!
kedengeran agak perkasa ya emang,cewe masuk teknik pertambangan. most of them ya biologi,farmasi,matematika,kesehatan masyarakat. berhubung gue sangat malas dengan biologi,apalagi obat-obatan,apalagi jadi dokter deh ya,ga kepikiran sama sekali dan ga minat. kayaknya dokter di Indonesia udah kebanyakan deh ya,banyak juga yang kerjaannya ga karuan,jadi dokter belom tentu ngejamin buat gue,apalagi belai-belain pendidikan dokter di universitas yang kurang kredibel,kalah sama universitas gede kayak UI sama UGM.
and I'm proud of being a mining engineer. pertama,karena jurusannya ga pasaran dan ga semua universitas punya jurusan ini. kedua,banyak banget SDA yang berpotensi tapi belom dieksplorasi.

semoga di jurusan dalam 3 tahun ke depan bakal lancar-lancar aja,IP naik terus,syukur-syukur bisa fast-track langsung S2,kalo ngga ya kerja dulu 1 tahun,nikah,trus lanjut S2 dibayarin suami :)

survive

It's been almost the 8th months I'm being with my boyfriend. sweetness comes,sweetness go. that's what I named life. we don't know what will happen tommorow,but that all we know is we have to fight with it,whatever will happen someday.
and survival is the most needed of all our fighting. like I do.

I love someone and I survive with him no matter what he behaves,what he has done to me and how slurred. happiness will come in the end of all pains. keep survive,and i'll feel the sweet one.

each relationship must have problems. I have it in mine since I deal a relationship with him. Problem came,problem solved. I try to be tough in small case,but in big one,I'm smiling outside,dying inside. I ever thought to end it all,but my heart doen't want to. surviving is the way I take.

I have my own way of thinking.
treat your boyfriend as 6 years old boy. when he wakes up in the morning,he's with you. but in the morning till noon he plays with his life,his friends,his routinity. let him plays as much as he wants. don't give any prohibition to him. because in the end of everyday,in evening till night when he feels tired playing,he'll come back to you,looks at you,needs your bear hugs and your warm kisses.

happiness in the end must be mine.

happy birthday me

hello I'm 19th now.
much older and wish for wiser me.
too sad I couldn't pass my birthday with my family.
ya,I spent my little time with my boyfriend having dinner. and it goes so unwell. sorry to say dear,but that was my unforgettably bad birthday celebration ever. you made that all too bad that night.
It's okay for me now,even I couldn't ever forget the worst birthday night.
I still love you and I still do till I don't know for sure.
Whatever it takes.
you're still my superboy ever :)

cheating

what's in your head hearing about cheating?
yes. that's a kind of betrayal to someone you call your love. you make another relationship with someone else in case you're still with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

i really hate being cheated. i experienced on it once. and hope it'll be the last too.
and now it happened to my closefriend too.

poor. yes, that's us. someone who've been cheated.

i can't stand why men easily cheat with another.
is that caused of our fault? or they just feel disatisfied with us and then looking for somebody else?
i just can't believe why they, men, easily looking for the new one after what we, girls, have everything done to him.
based on my experience, i always do my best for my beloved. i give everything. everything he wants. i am always there when he needs me. i always do what he wants me to do. then, he cheated. bang. i fell something heavy crash my head. hard to believe and trusting him once again. but i try. one more chance maybe fix it all up.
i do it just because of love. that's the power of love.

but now. my friend experienced it too.
okay, she and her boyfriend are in long distance relationship. but they kept their promises to keep their relationship longlast.
few days ago, her boyfriend has his birthday. and i really know she prepared everything to him. EVERYTHING. she bought a present and birthday cake and she also came to her boyfriend's dormitory to give him surprise party though she'll face chemistry class on the next day. she perfectly done those surprise and i believe that their relationship is gonna be okay.
but see.
her boyfriend cheated behind her. my closefriend get stabbed in the back.
don't ask me whether that was hurt or not because i do feel the same.
we, girls, are not as tough as boys.
we easily crying. we are fragile. we can't hide those feeling.

but why men easily makes our tears fall doown?

teach me

teach me how to understand you your way.
teach me how to believe in you as i used to.
teach me how to throw those negative thinkings away.
teach me how to decrease this fucking feeling.
teach me how to be not possesive in your point of view.

i ain't that tough.
smiling outside but dying inside.
trying to be stronger than yours, it's kind of hard.
trying to be like what you want.
i do my best. but i don't see you do the same.
you could be more than this i'm sure.
but why don't you?

but i still keep my words.
there'll be happiness in the end of our story.
if it's not happy yet.
trust me.
that's not the end.